letter that never was sent.
This is the first letter
from Ernst´s mother.
It was originally written in
German but is translated here into English.
Ernst found the
letter in 1989
after his mother´s death in a
hospital in Hamborg.
Late in life
he understood, why she never gave it to him. But he never quite
forgave her for not sending it to him,
after he had grown up.
letter was written after the devasting bombardment of Lübeck of the 28
of march 1942, when his
mother stayed in Berlin with his grandmother. Ernst Altien had never really understood the problems his
mother had faced untill he found the letter, and
the only thing he could do reading it, was
dear son, she wrote, It is
morning, but many anxious
thoughts mingled with the heart-breaking goodbye, keep me awake.
I love you so much as only a mother can love her
only child. You are
to me, and you will always be in my thoughts, and although we have to
part, neither the
time, the destiny or the
death can tear us apart. You
were given to me as a precious gift, and I have
never lost the gratefullness toward whoever made it possible for
me to bear a child like you. The English bombs that has
brought devastation and suffering over Lübeck and Rostock, seems
to me like dark warnings in this very changed world.
our ways must part
now (later on you will understand!)
, and although you
are so small,
you will always be in my heart.
time later she must have written the following part on the backside of
the paper. It was probably written after WW2.
everything is lost. All the great dreams were illusions and dead
now - or
smeared with blood and guilt.
I hope for you, you can stay peacefully in Denmark and forgive
your mother for not being the one, you needed.
But believe me, I did the best, I could. Only my sorrow and regrets
can mirror your pain.
First letter from his mother.
First letter from his mother. Backside.